A Life Worth Living by Amy G Staples

As we creep towards the end of 2016 and thoughts of this year ramble in my mind and after someone had commented on another group, someone on dialysis that "because a life on a machine is not really living". I hear it a lot from people who've never been on dialysis like nurses, techs or even dialzors themselves. But, I am hear to tell you that for me that statement is W R O N G. Dialysis is *not* for the weak. Every year of my life extended by dialysis absolutely has been "really living". For every day of treatment it strengthens my resolve. I've watched my younger children grow up and leave the nest. I found a job and worked nearly 7 years of those almost 15 years. I made new friends, learned new things, traveled around the country, watched both our sons graduate from basic training, volunteered in D.C. with the National Kidney Foundation, accepted as a BOD member and volunteered nearly 2 years for Home Dialyzors United. I've welcomed a daughter in law and 9 grandchildren into this family and world. I've watched and helped them develop, grow, learn and understand what the world is about. I've rocked grandchildren to sleep, read them stories, sung them songs, watched them in performances at school, gone to the Zoo together (several times) and helped them with homework. I've loved on many dogs, cats and farm animals. I've found joy in the newness of springs' hope, the brightest of snows, the summer lightning bugs and the colors of fall. I continue in my research. Through books, books and more books I've discovered true imagination and a plethara of worlds and heroines and learned to form my own voice. I've knitted (close to 50 scarves), sewn and crafted gifts, found freedom through movies and shows both old and new. Seen a tornado destroy, watched it lightly sprinkle and soak with torrential rains. I delight with each new unique snowflake and watch the trees dance as the wind flow through them. I've found enchantment in the flits of the hummingbirds and the songs of the wintering birds outside our windows and the squirrels who compete for food. I've grieved at the death of my mother, 2 brothers, 2 sisters and more friends than I care to count. I've worried about my ill sister, nieces, nephews and friends who also contend with their own battles. I've laughed until it hurts, cried to exhaustion. I've overcome 7 episodes of sepsis requiring weeks of hospitalizations, transfusions and sometimes learning how to walk again. I've survived dozens of procedures a dozen major surgeries (including having both kidneys removed) and over 27,000 hours doing dialysis. I've comforted children, grandchildren, friends, strangers and others through many hurdles. I'm aware of the sun rising and setting each and every day, finding joy each morning and contentment each night. I try to find the positive in every situation, every day, every struggle. I love and am loved. I don't need to be a CEO, own my own business, have a college degree or travel the world to know or be reminded that my life still has value. Still has meaning. Still has worth. Is every day grand? No. Is every day torture? No. Is it an easy life? Nope. Is it a simple life? Again no. Does my life still have value? Absolutely. Am I worthy to continue living, loving and receiving love? You betcha! Is that not living in any sense of the word? It is to me. What more could I ask of life beyond coping with the hurdles, loving and being loved and finding wonder in all that surrounds me? I have shelter, heat, cooling, food, clothing, healthcare, clean water, love of family and friends, the purr of my cats and the wag of many tails. To me, it IS living and I am blessed beyond measure. Blessings from Amy G Staples